Zoe

I was 12 when the last term of school came around. I started to retaliate. I was being constantly picked on, so I began to become violent. My first suspension was only a few days into the term, when I slapped a girl across the face with a shirt. I had problems with her beforehand, but i did this randomly. i recieved a suspension.
 
After my suspension, I admitted to my teacher that i was suicidal. She told people, did stuff. my parents told me off for this. soon after, i began to cut. A LOT. I became addicted, starting off at home and later ended up doing it during class, It was like a drug.
 
I was nearly caught with two knives in my bag. I hid them in a binder with plastic sleeves. I didn't take them out during bag checks-- noone ever looked in them. My teacher took away six pairs of scissors, which I haven't had handed back. I also had two more- everytime she took away a pair, my 'best friend' gave me another set, or let me stop at the shops to buy some on the way to school.
 
I was sent home, told I was too dangerous for school. I didn't return for three weeks, missing out on what should've been my graduation ceremony. Around the same time, I started seeing a psychologist weekly.
 
I attempted to kill myself three times.
 
When I returned to school, I found out that the girl who should've been my best friend, actually made up stuff to tell the teacher, principle, ect, to get me expelled. I was very close to getting expelled;  my parents started looking for other schools for me, scolding me for starting this bullshit in the first place.
 
Only days after I was allowed back to school, the summer holidays came round. I was not prepared for this; when the bell signalled the end of school, I had a breakdown and began to cry.
 
I was still cutting into the holidays- noone visited me, or called. My facebook was spammed with death threats, and I eventually ended up suspending my facebook account.
 
One of my friends, who didn't know about this (we met in 3rd grade, we keep in touch, though during 4th grade she changed schools and moved away) came over. I was on my laptop, trying to see how many ways there were to kill sims on Sims 3. She minimized Sims, and opened up youtube. She showed me a video on youtube: 'Food Battle 2011'. I thought it was hilarious. After she left, I opened up history, and opened the video. It was by some guys called 'smosh'. I started going through their videos, subscribing to both channels. Once I saw that video, the need to cut dissapeared. The anger and the suicide thoughts dissapeared. 
 
A few days later, (the day after Christmas), I opened up smosh.com for the first time. I went through their videos, starting with the oldest. In every spare moment I had, I watched more videos. It took me 11 nights to get through them. I didn't do anything stupid during that time, and I still haven't. 




Smosh saved my life. SMOSH: "Special Mismatched Omftg Super Heroes."