Audrey

When i was 12 years old i was dignoised with Depressed, i would cry myself to sleep everynight. I hated how i looked, i hated everything about me. I felt so alone. I HAD friends, good ones to. But one day they just forgot about me. Never invited me anywere, never talked to me not even on facebook. 

It's ben a few years, i'm now 14 and still depressed. Still have no friends, i do have 2 friends though....but they never talk to me. Sometimes we hang out but atleast everynight im stuck on my own, just doing nothing. 

I did have one amazing friend who i still call my best friend. I've known her since we were both 4 years old. We love eachother like sisters. Sometimes we even tell people we are sisters. We used to have slumber parties every weekend, hang out everyday...it all changed a month ago, when she got her boyfriend. Now she doesn't even bother to talk to me anymore, she was the only one i could talk to about how i felt and she helped. Well ever since she got her boyfriend, i've ben even more depressed. I've started cutting a month ago, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but i was WRONG. it was the worse thing i have ever done. I used to call people who cut, attention whores, and emo scum. But now i know how they feel, why they do it. I know the pain.
 
One night i have had enough. I remember that day so clearly. I was in a HUGE fight with my mom and sister. My sister called " Worthless peice of shit" 
That hurt me so bad. I tore me up inside, and on top of that i have to deal with my mom calling me fat all the time. 
That night i told myself, " i need to stop this, i am done. i am DONE. no one would care i died." that night i decided to get my dads knife, and cut myself to death. I wanted have a slow and painful death,i know others around me would have wanted me to.

It was going on 11PM i was waiting for my dad to fall asleep. While i was waiting, i was on youtube and decided to listin to some music, when i look on the homepage i see a smosh video. (I don't remember what video) i thought to myself " oh they're hot!" so i cliked on it.
I laughed. I smiled so big. I spent hours watching their videos, it was going on 3AM when i realized " the knife.."


I thought about everything and Smosh. That night, i would live through this, and smosh will help me.
 After that night a month went by and learned more and more about Ian and Anthony and loved them so much.  I never knew there were other "fangirls" like me! Obsessed. I really did think i was the only one, then i joined twitter and met other smoshers. 
I'm so glad i found smosh that night, or else i would be dead.
 
Thank you Ian and Anthony. 
And thank you Smoshers <3