Lizz

Hai! My name is Lizz. I'm 13. I am a smosh addict. :) And here's my little story for ya. 

I've suffered with depression for the past year. My life is a bit of a mess, and I've been trying to clean it up for a while, but it hasn't worked out for me. I've sadly turned to self-harm in many different forms. Cutting, starving, and just trying to make myself feel pain in anyway possible. I'm bullied for being different, and not as beautiful as the others around me. I'm pretty sure it was about the beginning of August that I had actually very highly considered ending my life. I mean, I didn't think anyone would care, because at that time no one would. So I invited the only people I loved over, just so I could have some time with them before I left. It was a Thursday, which meant for my smosh fangirl friend, a new Lunchtime With Smosh. She grabbed my computer the moment she came over and watched it. I watched it too, just so I could get as much time as I could with her. And for the first time in months, I laughed. Like, legit laughed. By the time I was over my stomach hurt. I was smiling. It almost felt weird, but I was happy about it. We watched IIB, LTWS, and just plain old smosh videos for about 3 hours. I was still watching even when they got tired of it. I never had to say goodbye to them for the last time.

I watched smosh videos all of the time. Come home from school? Watch smosh videos. Need to sleep? Oh well, watch smosh videos. Want to cut? Watch smosh videos. Want to end your life? Watch. Smosh. Videos. It's like my remedy, and I love smosh so much.

So then I made a twitter, cause I had heard that smosh replied to people there. And after about a month, I did get a reply from them. It filled me up with so much happiness. I kept the twitter for that purpose and got many tweets from the smosh account. But I still had those scary suicidal thoughts. I still cut. I was scared I would never be happy for more than when I was watching. Until December.

December was probably the highlight of my depression time. I saw Ian and Anthony on tinychat, which was the only think I thought about for weeks. Corey (teleporting fat guy) had told me he loved me. Ian tweeted me a few times. But the most special thing to me was when he replied to me on my post about depression. Those words are the most special thing in the world to me. They've helped me so much. So, so, much. I wrote the advice and put it on my wall. I wrote the advice on a piece of paper and don't go anywhere without it. It's the thing I look at if I ever feel alone or that I'll never get through the day.

I felt like smosh knew me. They'd tweeted me many times. I felt like they liked me. And that made me smile.

Smosh has basically got me through everything since I first started watching. They've got me through all the name calling and bullying. They got me through my grandmother's death. They got me through my best friend trying to commit suicide 7 times. They got me through all the pain I've felt. I feel like I owe my life to them.

Please NEVER stop smiling, laughing, being stupid, talking, and most importantly, PLEASE DON'T STOP MAKING VIDEOS.

You guys are life savers, and I don't mean the candy. Thank you. So much.