Megan

Today I’m dedicating this blog to people that saved me. <3 Please read this, It’d mean a lot to me.

Lately I’ve been having a really hard time. I’ve been getting thoughts of dying and cutting daily. So many times, I’ve picked up scissors and thought it would cure my problems. Instead, it just made another problem and took longer to heal. 

As you may know, I basically live on the computer. I love YouTube and Twitter and Tinychat. They keep me going, keep me excited for the next day. YouTube though… I can not thank enough.

The day I found “Smosh” was the best day of my life by far. I had been so depressed before I found them. I found Smosh on Kids React. Then, I watched “Smosh Reacts To Kids React To Smosh.” Even the title made me laugh. The commentary was so funny, I cried. Then, I got obsessed. I couldn’t stop watching them. Over time, I got FIVE smosh merches. *soon to be 7. wrist-bands * 

My obsession will probably never go away. Smosh makes me laugh when no one else can. Knowing that they don’t even know me, that I will never meet them, that I live miles away from them… hurts. I will never get to tell Ian the secret I want to. I will never get to give them a hug. I will never get to see Ian’s blue eyes. I will never get to see both of them smiling back at me. Never.

Today I was lying on my bed, squeezing my smosh hat in my hands. Usually when I do this, I close my eyes and hope for Ian and Anthony to appear. But only in my head will that happen. Not in the real world. I can only keep dreaming. 

Smosh is my life. 

If Ian or Anthony is reading this right now, I just want to say Thank You. You guys have saved me so many times. I can not thank you both enough. You’ve kept me away from the scissors for weeks now. I love you guys so much. Please. Come to Pittsburgh sometime soon XD 

Love, 

Smosher47