A little over a year ago, my life was a mess. I was depressed and there was no one I could trust enough to talk to about my problems... I went on youtube and was searching random things when an IanH video popped up. That video made me laugh like I hadnt in a long time. It wasnt a fake laugh like usual, I was actually happy for those few minutes, while I was watching those two guys be hilarious and retarded (no offense XD). I fell in love after I found the smosh channel. After a few months of watching smosh, I decided to make a Twitter account. I mean, why not? It's not like I had to tell anyone or like anyone would ever find out about it! I followed all the smosh accounts and a little after that, a few smoshers followed me. I started talking to some people and they were the nicest and most accepting people I had ever met! I finnaly felt accepted, and like I actually belonged.
None of the crappy things about my life went away. Both my parents were still unemployed, my dad still lived on the other side of the world with his wife (who I hate), I was still getting bullied at school, etc... But at least I could run away from all that and just be happy and laugh for a few minutes, while watching Ian and Anthony be themselves.
I started cutting before watching smosh, and they were the reason I stopped. A few months ago, I was in my tinychat room with some of my best smosher friends, and we were hanging out and having fun! As a joke, we tweeted Ian the link, and kept on being retarded and having fun by ourselves. A guest went in the room and changed his name to "ian". We all started laughing and called him a troll, cause I mean... Why would Ian ever want to go to our tinychat, right? Just so we could laugh a little more, I gave him the broadcasting password. He said his camera wasnt working and we laughed even harder. Then the name ian appeared on camera, and so did Ian's face. We all froze for a few secounds thinking it was a picture or a video, untill he waved at us... I actually started crying and shaking, because that felt like a dream come true. I was meeting the person who saved my life. My inspiration. That same night, Corey (aka Teleporting Fat Guy) and Ethan (aka Harry) went on tinychat, and Anthony went on the next day. For a few days, I couldnt think of anything else, and I felt like I was in heaven...
That didnt last for long though, cause stuff kept happening and my depression came back... Starting that tinychat room was probably the best idea I ever had in my entire life, cause it became a place where smoshers could hang out and just be themselves without being judged, and amazing people like Ian, Anthony, Corey, Melanie and Harry had been there! But I started to cut again a short while ago... Ian and Anthony are possibly the only reason I'm still here, and they are the reason I'm trying to get rid of this addiction. I'll probably never meet them in real life since I live in Portugal, but I will never lose hope and it will always be my dream.
I love you, Ian and Anthony. Thank you for always being there for us.
Love, Cláudia <3
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