Katie T

Hey Ian and Anthony if you're reading this, I just want to say thank you so much. And this statement is practically speaking for every single smosher out there that you saved. We just want you to know that you're more than a comedy duo with original funny videos and a great sense of humor.

You're a lifesaver.

I guess my story started not to long ago. I was in 4th grade, ya I know I was young

That was when I started to realize people didn't think of me as much as they used to.

The thing about me is, I'm different. Very different. I like all different things, when usually people only focus on one main thing in life. I've loved being different, but sometimes I almost forced myself to forget everything I loved. To be like everyone else. To be normal.

I'm glad I didn't.

I loved country music and I played guitar. I got made fun of everyday because of that. It was like people couldn't stand other kids who weren't like them. The insults were light now, not to bad, but enough to get me a little heartbroken. The people who I thought were my friends just sorta...stopped being my friends. They just drifted away, started worrying about being "popular" and all the things you shouldnt care about.

I also dressed differently. It was weird. By then kids were wearing shoulder less tops and short shorts. Kids were wearing shirts from forever21 and urban outfitters that my family couldn't even afford. I didnt like clothes like that, I felt uncomfortable showing off my shoulder or stomach. I was bold though.

I was wearing dresses. Yeah, casual dresses because I wanted to. I didn't wanna grow up, I didn't want to be like the others. People laughed at me. On a regular basis my outfit would either be a dress with sleeves and jeans under it. People also made fun of me when I wore a tee shirt and jeans when I was lazy. I didn't think it mattered what you wore, I thought it mattered who you were.

Fourth grade came to an end, and my summer was crazy. My good friend became almost like a 7th grader. She was tall and skinny, only weighed 65 pounds for being 5' 4" for gods sake. She started wearing makeup, when I still liked to wear hoodies and jeans. She lied to me, and stole one of my only good down to earth friends.

I was left with nothing.

Also the idea of dating started, and being me with extremely frizzy curly brown hair and glasses I was almost the ONLY one not doing it. It was like I was invisible.

Summer ended with me just up in my room alone watching YouTube for the first time. Everything was pretty funny, I decided once school started I would watch it more.

A good decision that changed me.

By fifth grade, it got even worse. It's almost as bad as where I stand now. Kids get mean in fifth grade. Really self centered and mean.

I started love the Internet as well. YouTube always made me laugh for some crazy reason, but when I showed it to my friends, they just thought it was stupid. I didn't know why. It was funnier than them. When I started watching more of YouTube, the less I was with them. I was starting to be bullied because of it.

By then, I started to write a lot too. I would learn to write by reading, so I was considered a need aswell. Everything bit by bit fell apart. I was so young I didn't realize it. My new friends once again...disappeared. It was throwing everything away. I had honestly sat with them everyday, but they would get up...and move. I sad alone with one other girl and a shy boy who kept to himself. That was all.

Sometimes, I would just sit in my room and cry all night. My life was a mess. I would sit staring out the window, listening to depressing songs because I couldn't do anything else. I just had to embrace the fact that I was alone. But one point I realized I had been doing that for a year. It was all to much. Nothing was getting better.

It even came to the point where I was sitting in the bathtub. And I thought "What if I just laid here..forever?" I slipped myself underwater and tried everything. In short, I tried killing myself.

I realized I shouldn't be stupid though, so I never went through with it. But one day, someone made up painful rumors about me that weren't true. Not even realistic. Nobody talked to me anymore. The only guy I really knew now was a blonde boy on the bus who liked the Internet too. That's all my REAL friends.

No one helped me. There was only one thing left to do.

That's the point where I cut myself off from everyone in reality.

And in the end I was glad I did.

I started just going on the Internet, spending countless hours up in my room listening to or even writing music. One day I got a call. A guy friend of mine(the bus kid) wanted to come over. Being socially awkward and excited me, I said yes.

That's the day my life changed.

Let's just say this boy helped save me. No, I didn't like him or find him attractive. He was a great friend.

After awhile of just laughing in the woods we went inside because it was cold. I started to think how he was my only friend. Yeah, pathetic.

"Ughhh, I'm depressed." I said to him.

He smiled at me and went on my laptop. He didn't even say why! But I followed, because anything could cheer me up.

He showed me a video by smosh. Im sorry I can't remember, I was so happy that day it was all a blur. Totally random video. But it changed me so much.

I laughed hard, for the first time in years. The way Ian shouted and the way Anthony laughed was just heartwarming to me. The boy showed me more, like all the "If ___ were real" and Boxman and some LTwS. I felt happy. It was a weird feeling to me, but I liked it.

After he went home, I watched more.

For that one night, I slept well. I didn't cry once before going to bed, I didn't stay up (as) late anymore. The one exception to staying up late was watching more videos.

I quickly caught on to smosh. I learned their names, watched hidden videos on Anthony's channel and started to talk about them to anyone I could talk to. A lot.

The pain outside of smosh didn't just stop though. It got worse.

People REALLY started to make fun of me. They just said I was that girl who spent all her time in her basement on the computer. Swear words. Nerd. Loser. Any possible insult.

But when I went home, instead of crying, I either looked for the new smosh episode or re-watched old ones. They helped me smile when i just felt like there was nothing else to live for.

And basically nothing else has happened from then except people outside from smosh got worse.

But smosh for me, just got better.

I met Corey on tinychat, who always makes me laugh. I loved tinychat, although I don't know a lot of you TCers because of my broken webcam but I plan to get to know you, maybe. I know all of you smoshers are great people, I would love to get to know you more. You guys just help me forget everything else in life.

I met a couple hardcore smoshers who actually took time to talk to me, who had the same common interests as I did and understood me.

And I met people who respected me for who I am. Who didn't think I was weird for always being on the computer, or always talking about the things I love instead if hiding them.

I did this through twitter, but the main reason I know all these people is smosh. So yeah....thanks. I literally wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

So that's my story. Im sorry it's so long and it barely talks about smosh but it needs to be said. I've been wanting to get this out for ages. And reading other entries, I know Im not the worst. But we all have one thing in common.

Smosh has saved us. Thank you Smosh.

Because my survival is based around them. They are my reason to live.

So Ian, Anthony, if you're reading this, I want you to know the motto I've been living by since the day I've known about you. And this applies to me every single day, every moment I feel alone.

"People haven't always been there for me, but smosh has."