Cece

Hi, I'm Cece. I'm 13, I've been a Smosher for almost an entire year, and this is my story. Ever since the Third Grade, Ive always bee different than the average girl. I wasn't like the preps or the jocks or the shy ones. I was never labeled. And being different, cause lots of problems. Especially in the Fifth Grade. I was bullied. They would laugh at me, tease me, push me around, while the teachers just watched, and did nothing. I would come home everyday, crying, wondering why me, what was wrong with me. I had no friends. That was the first time I experienced depression, and Ive been going in and out of it ever since.

Sixth Grade when by in a blur. I was teased for dressing like a nerd (I had no idea wtf I was doing in sixth grade) and being the smallest one in the class. I was so glad when i was summer, so I could hang out wit my best friend Quesi. She understood me, knew me. She was like my sister. I loved her so much.

Then, the worst happened. On July,10,2010, Quesi died. i don't like to get into details. I was devastated. I had no one. Absolutely on one, it seemed. It was then, in 7th grade, I became suicidal. I almost did it once, I was about to plunge the knife in my heart, when something stopped me. I don't know what it was, i just, had this voice in my head. It told me to hold on, that I was going to find something amazing. Somethign that would change my life forever, to hold on. I did not die that day. That summer, I saw my first Smosh video.

It was confusing at first. I didn't know how I came across the video. i now know it was destiny. The video was "First Person Shooters Suck" I remember that first night just clicked video after video. i was hooked. I officially declared myself a Smosher around September. But I didn't learn about the fan base until about December. That day I will never forget. I was on Tinychat. I met Brandi(@Smosher_Branday), Katie(@itscuzimbrown),another Kate (@NeonSassie) and so many others but I cant remember off the top of my head right now. It was amazing. Knowing that alll these people felt exactly the way I felt. It was AWSOME! But then, reality hit again when I fell into depression once again in January. i don't know why I get so depressed, i really dont. It just happens. I started to cut,soon after. Some of my Smosher friends found out and tried helping me. They actually care. And because of you guys, i have vowed to never try to kill myself again,and I'll try my best not to cut again. More importantly, Smosh, and all you Smoshers, saved my life. I' so grateful for all of you caring. Thank you so much. xoxoxox <3